Shaheer Ahmed
Note: This is a spoof article. Only part of the information is correct. The rest follows a satirical structure and made-up facts.
Vaccines are such a controversial matter. Back when the non-existent Covid-19 virus attacked us and people started creating hype over a virus that didn’t even exist, the conspiracy theorists were hard at work in assuming who is behind the virus. When aliens, witches, and warlocks were ruled out, we turned to the magicless humans who happened to be our leaders.
Then the evil reptilians who rule us with an iron fist and don’t want us to unveil their conspiracy released special devices with hidden mini-cameras. These special devices were converted into liquids and were hidden in the special injections so that the world leaders could spy on us, and instead of running their million-dollar investments, could see us taking a shower or getting humiliated by our family members. That makes perfect sense.
While most of the sheeple (sheep people) have given up and have gotten vaccinated, some of us are still strong and won’t bend no matter what kind of health hazards those losers at Harvard universities will come up with. They have spent their entire lives researching false facts. The best kind of information is always found through circulating WhatsApp messages and YouTube videos.
The warrior breed that bends knees to no vaccinators is still active, screaming like mad people at whoever tells us to put on a mask or maintain social distance.
One of our superior representatives is Novak Djokovic (we dare you to openly pronounce his name). This hero is willing to put his accomplishments as the 20-time Grand Slam winner in the ground because he doesn’t want to be vaccinated. Due to his headstrong attitude, he was deported from Australia last month. The great representative of the anti-vax movement said that he had obtained a medical exemption to enter the country and play in the Australian Open. This great man had recently recovered from Covid-19 which doesn’t even exist. However, Australia’s immigration minister, Alex Hawke, had a vendetta against him and he canceled his visa.
The tennis player is persevering in a cause that is supported by thousands of Karens and Kirans all around the world. Despite facing humiliation and detainment, Novak still doesn’t want to get vaccinated and we support his choice completely because we know more than the researchers who have spent years perfecting their studies.
Also, na lagwanay ka apna hi mazah hai!
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