Shaheer Ahmed
Aaj hum baat karain gey Valentine’s day par. Kyun? Kyun kay meray boss aik bohat zalim hukmaran hain jinki khud tou shadi hoye hai magar un ko mujh jaisay aur sab single logon ki koi parwah nahien. Kaha tha mainay un ko kay is Valentine’s day humein mil kar un logoon kay sath khara hona chahiye jo hain single. Magar kya kabhi zalim insaan zulm karnay sei ruka hai? And then it led to me wonder, kay Valentine’s day aya kahan sei hai?
For a minute, I thought my boss had started this because he is certainly that old but then I was like itna bhi nahien hai. Tou valentine’s day shuru kahan sei hua? Aur aik aur bohat eham sawal, yeh din itna badnam kyun hai?
Valentine’s day ki History
People say that history has taught us a lot of things, but then again, have we really learned anything from it? The actually history of valentine’s day is pretty boring, like my boss. Saint Valentine was a priest, who secretly married couples to spare men from war. He defied the emperor’s orders. Agayy janay sei pehlay let’s just manifest on the fact kay kitna bahadur insaan tha woh shakhs.
But the history of valentine’s day is pretty boring because itna bara din aur bus yeh. Hona chahiye tha kuch dhol dhamaka, koi Ramleela. Ya shaid maina bohat Bollywood movies dekh li hain. Jo bhi ho, is baat par dil nahien manta.
It is for this reason, we did extensive research and came up with our own valentine’s day story.
Valentine’s day ki real story
It started from the town of Day. Yes, the Day was named Day, itself. Because woh log bohat intezaar kartay thay aglay din ka. Aur woh log bohat fascinate hotay thay with the word, ‘Day.’ Jaisay kay hum hotay hain, ‘Flabbergasted’ sei. Aur yeh story parh kar aap sab ho jaien gey flabbergasted.
In the town, there was a man named Val. His real name was Mian Espionage Shanapowder Ghost Ayy Rider Tee Pyari Paaaro but kyun kay naam itna muskil hai tou uska naam aisay he tou nahen parh gaya. Names usually indicate a personality that a person has, and because he was a very vela person, he was named Val. He could have been called Vela but the people of the town Day did not like letter E. Because it reminded them of pain. ‘Eeeee maaa.’ Eeeeee ammi, mera boss bohat zalim hai.’
However, in the same town, there was also a girl whose name was Tee, because larki na ho kahani mein tou maza tou nahien ata na. Khair, us ka naam Tee is liyay tha kyun kay us ko kambhay bohat pasand thay aur Tee sei us sirf kambhay yaad ata thay.
Ab aap yeh soch rahay hain kay Tee kay naam mein, ‘ee’ kaisay hain. Haan, humain pata hai kay aap humari story parh hi is liyay rahay hain takay aap loop holes dhoond sakain, but hum bhi bohat taiz hain.
Tee na asal mein bohat rebellious thi aur woh hamesha khatron kay khilari khelti thi. Uska asal naam tha, Tiya Piya Humnay Jaam Piya. Yes. This was her real name. You can look it up because the day she was born, was the day that the people of the town Day discovered Milk and drank it. In that honor, they named her this. Halal kaam kartay thay Day kay log.
Phir hua kuch youn kay aik din Val was just sitting on a neemo kyun kay unkay pass bari balls nahien thein, aur us waqt dunya chal rahi thi neemopani sei. We are just stating true history. Khair, phir hua kuch yun kay Val apni masti mein zor zor sei bol raha tha, doodh peetay hoye, ‘Tiya Piya Humnay Jaam Piya’
Tou Tee wahan sey guzar rahi thi aur who ruk gaye.
Usnay Val ko dekha aur boli, ‘Haan, Mian Espionage Shanapowder Ghost Ayy Rider Tee Pyari Paaaro?’
Tou Val ruk gaya. Aaj tak kabhi kisi nay us ko uskay puray naam sei nahien bulaya tha. Aik ajeeb si Khushi utar gaye uskay ander. Uska dil dharaknay lag gaya. Is sei pehlay nahien dharkta tha aur woh statue ho gaya.
Tee: ‘Mian Espionage Shanapowder Ghost Ayy Rider Tee Pyari Paaaro, bolo mera naam kyun bol raha thay?’
Val: ‘Gal Sun Jaaa’
Tee: ‘Tu Jhoom’
Val: ‘Yeh Dunya.’
Tee: ‘Pasoori hai aik Pasoori, aur main awari.’
Val: ‘But, you are beautiful.’
Tee: ‘’You’re my best friend.’
Val: ‘Kabhi Kabhi zindagi mein, Tiya Piya Humnay Jaam Piya’
Tee: ‘Awww,’
Itnay mein Val udar hou kar jannay lagta hai tou, Tee kehti hai kay,
Tee: ‘Naa Jaa.’
Val: ‘Dheere Dheere sey meri zindagi mein aa.’
Tee: ‘Aap jaisa koi.’
Val: ‘Aaj phir jeenay ki tammana hai.’
Tee: ‘Hum Safar’
Val: ‘Zindagi Gulzar hai.’
Woh dono aik neemo par bhetay thay tou Val ko khayal aya, ‘Dekho, mein Val, aur tum Tee aur now you are also mine and we live in a town called Day, tou yeh tou Valentine’s Day ho gaya na.’
Tee: ‘Samaj mujhay nahien aya but sure whatever.’ Kyun kay Val us waqt soch rahi thi kay dono ki shadi ho gi aur 9 maheenay baad there will be children’s day in the town of Day.
But phir usko khail aya aur us nay poucha, ‘Mian Espionage Shanapowder Ghost Ayy Rider Tee Pyari Paaaro, tumhara naam mein Pyari paaaro kyun ata hai?’
Val: ‘Meri ammi ki bachpan sey khawish thi kay meri kisi pyari paaaro sei shadi ho. Unhoun nay dhoon bhi li hai.’
Tee ko yeh sun kar bohat afsoos hua aur usney ghussa sey Val ko dhaka diya neemo sey aur woh mar gaya. Asal mein Gehriyaan movie bhi iss hi sei inspired hai.
And this is why 14th February is celebrated as Valentine’s Day to commemorate the love that they almost had, like almost all of us.
Why do we celebrate Valentine’s day?
Koi pagal sa insaan jis kou bohat rog laga ho ga jab uska bachpan ka pyar usko chor kar gaya ho ga aur usnay faisla kiya ho ga kay ab mein sab ko tang karoon ga. Kya farq parta hai kay kyun celebrate kartay hain, kyun kay humein konsa kisi nay chocolate dey deni hai, *sobs Naseer sobs Shayan sobs Ubaid*.
But yeah, to all the singles out there, Happy Valentine’s day!
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