Shaheer Ahmed
Aaj hum baat karain gey us dhukhi dastan ki jo shuru bhi mehmanon sei hoti hai aur khatam bhi un kay jannay per hoti hai. Mehmaan tou sab kay ghar atay hain aur kuch tou aisay hain jo phir jatay bhi nahien chahay aap kitney hi jharu kay tinkay torr lo. Magar muda’a yeh hai kay mehmaanon kay annay sei bachay itnay tang kyun hotay hain?
Magar is mein humara koi Kasur nahien hai kyun kay mehmaan tang hi itna kartay hain. Kuch tou aisay hotay hain tou jannay ka naam hi nahien laitay. Aur especially bhai agar aap Islamabad mein rehtay hain tou bus phir Allah ki Hafiz hai.
For those who don’t know – we Islamabadis like to live in a bubble of our own. This bubble makes us happy, and we do not like it when people from other cities try to enter our bubble. But because we live in Islamabad, there are times when guests from other cities will just come to see the northern areas (jaisay kay unho nay kabhi baraf nahien dekhi), and then stay at your place for like a few days. Magar kahani yahan khatam nahien hoti kyun kay jab woh Murree ki sair kar kay wapis a rahay hotay hain tou phir sei apkay ghar atay hain. Kyun?
Kyun kay unho nay apko Murree kay qissay sunnanay hotay hain – Jissay apney kabhi Murree dekha hi na ho.
Pffftttt
It is because of all of these things that we sat down and decided to write about all the things that guests to that annoys you. They know they are doing it to annoy you and you know it too because you do the same when you go to their house.
- Dance kar kay dekhao
Hota tou yeah bachpan mein tha but kisi kisi kay sath abhi bhi hota hai. And it is not just restricted to dancing but other things as well. Because when a guest can’t find an ice breaker – they will turn things around and ask you ‘chalo bhai aab apna talent dekhao.’
Matlab kay agar kisi ka talent hou rona tou us ko yeh bhi keh dain gey kay chalo ‘Ro kar dekhao’ aur jab bacha ro lay tou tallian bajayien gay. Like what is this nonsense?
- Number kitnay aye?
Ufff – no matter what your age is – the guests coming to your house will ask you this for sure. It goes something like ‘Number Kitnay aye?’ ya ‘Shadi kab karo gey?’ ya ‘Bachay kab paida karo gey?’ Like dude, what even?
Mein zinda rahoon ya mar jaun ap ko kya farq parta hai?
- Badtameez bachay
Now this is one of the most annoying things that there is. Remember that time when you get guests at your house, and with them came their super annoying, good-for-nothing kids, jin ko tameez nahien hai zara si bhi. Apki cheezoon ko apna samaj laitay hain. Aur phir upar sei cheezain bhi torr daitay hain aur hath lag jaye tou apnay saath saman bhi ley jatay hain. Hum yeh karain tou humari ammian ankhain dekhati hain.
- Khanay ko kuch acha nahien laatay
Now this is a common knowledge that every time a guest is to come to your house – your mother will spend hours making delicious food and all that. But for children the real excitement is what will the guests bring when they come over. The most common gander is cake.
Mgar bhai log itnay koi ajeeb hotay hain kay kulfa ice cream ley ayien gay ya phir K&N’s kay nuggets ley ayien gey. Magar sahi chalak tou woh log hotay hain jo kuch bhi nahien latay.
Matlab agar kuch la nahien saktay tou attay hi kyun ho?
Yeh thein who chand shikiyatain jo humein hain mehmanon sey. But really, we wrote this to educate everyone on the moral ethics of going as a guest to anyone’s house. We hope log parhain, seekhain aur samjhain!
