Note: This is a satirical article. Some of the facts are linked using satirical humor.
This just in. A huge piece of space junk has recently slammed into the surface of the moon. That space junk that is now going to give a new crater to the lunar surface belongs to a rocket that China launched a while ago.
Guess what did they launch the rocket for? Well, it wasn’t exactly to hit the moon. It might be a leftover of China’s Chang GT-1 Mission. The flight was launched with the sole purpose of collecting samples of the moon and bringing them back to China. The mission was launched on the Chinese Long March 3C rocket. Like all the stuff made in China, the rocket shattered into pieces upon the first hint of resistance that it met in outer space. This almost seems like an achievement, considering that the remnant of that rocket lasted that long in space. It speaks volumes about Chinese equipment.
Like all responsible people, the Chinese scientists refused to accept that the space junking slamming into the moon was theirs. Despite being presented with evidence and research backing up the claims, the Chinese scientists responsible for the flight claimed that they have already received the burnt-out debris that fell from space. The doomed space object has received tons of attention, and it has been studied by American astronomers who claim that it is a Chinese rocket, despite Chinese scientists casting as much doubt as they could on this claim. In the end, it didn’t do them any good.
If you look at things from a broader perspective, the concept of the moon can become akin to a toxic lover to the Chinese. Considering the technological advancements that the country has been making, the random junk hitting the moon is not the measure of their technological advancements. If anything, it only proves that the moon doesn’t like Chinese. The scientists were quick to recognize that and instead of hitting the celestial body with another rocket, they picked a new subject of interest i.e. sun! And so far, they have been really successful. Only recently, China made a sun of its own, which was a big middle finger to the moon and a gesture that they didn’t need to keep sending rockets to it. Serves you the right moon! Try rejecting Chinese rockets now, because they went from “I will try to find someone else like you” to “Go find another like me.”