Shaheer Ahmed
Note: This is a satire article and spoof article.
2022 cannot stop handing us gifts, and historic nightmares for the history students. It sure is one of the most nightmarish times for a history student to start their majors in this subject. In case if you were waiting for the aliens, now is the time to shine for our cosmic neighbors. Given the situation of earth, we would beg them to stay and perhaps include them in everything that is happening on earth. That is to say if they haven’t already spotted the earth and its mess, and already decided to ditch this floating space rock.
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However, astronomers have been trying to desperately pinpoint the blame on something else. It is definitely not the cheesy politics of our ‘esteemed’ politicians or complete neglect of the fact that we are using too many resources at once. Experts from all over the world have sat down to find the exact thing that they can blame. This new thing might have already transpired and it might have severe repercussions on our planet. The rule of thumb is to not blame anything which if removed can harm the benefits of a few people. Religion and politics is completely off the table for that exact same reason. Don’t even think about blaming war or the corruption. After much hair pulling and wincing, the scientists have finally realized what the cause of the misery for earth is.
A huge rocky asteroid of 68.7 meters width passed by Earth safely on Thursday, 20 January. This huge meteorite is very harmless but don’t let it fool you. The meteorite carries special spiritual rays (I guess we are doing this) which caused immense turmoil on Earth. It made the Russian president wake up one day with violent tendencies and war-declaring intent. It also wreaked havoc on so many things all around the world!
