Shaheer Ahmed
Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse for the hopeless romantics to show their significant others that true love still exists in their relationship. Money can’t buy happiness but it sure can amp up the love! Or that is what those corporate overlords want you to believe! That’s right! Just when you thought you could celebrate the perfect love-based holiday, we got some news for you!
Did you know that this so-called day is nothing but a Yahoodi Saazish? That’s right! Just when you listened to a mufti who said something favorable about this day, we are here to awaken your emaan! Follow through for the epiphany that will have you drop everything that you are carrying and glue your eyes to this article. Too much? Maybe not! Given below are the 14 reasons why Valentine’s Day is saazish!
1. Love is in the Money
Yup! The pricier your gifts are, the more love you will be able to express for your significant others. Scour a market and ask for gifts, and they will point you towards a stall that is loaded with extremely expensive items.
2. If it is Cheap, It ain’t a Gift
Ever heard of expressing love through something that is more than just material possession? We neither! That is one of the most terrifying dilemmas of Valentine’s Day. If you buy a cheap Valentine’s Day gift, then it doesn’t look like a gift at all. You can forget about buying her a rose or cheap chocolates.
3. Disappointment is in the Air
No matter what kind of gifts you present to your significant other, she will always be disappointed. Your gifts are either too cheap, or they won’t create the perfect spark that you have been dreaming of all this time. Expectations reach sky high and well…it is very easy not to meet them.
4. Corporate Love
The holiday is less about expressing love to your loved ones and celebrating the sacred union, and more about getting guilt-tripped by corporate overlords. You should definitely buy something like an overly expensive gift, or say goodbye to any chance of a good relationship. After all, it is more like a campaign for corporate interests than your love life.
5. There is No Spark!
So, you have been thinking all this time that buying her the perfect gift, planning the perfect date or perhaps giving her the perfect time will restore the spark that your relationship is missing. Sorry, but that’s a no! Nope, buddy. There is no perfect spark that the falsely hyped holiday will restore for you.
6. Singles Torture Day
Singles already hate themselves for no reason. But this hate is amplified especially during Valentine’s Day. Now, they got a strong reason to despise themselves. And when they are repeating positive affirmations, telling themselves that they aren’t worthless, there comes that couple on the Insta who never stops dropping the pics. That is the last straw before the singles restart their self-hatred.
7. You Must Do What the Ads Tell You
Showing love to your significant other is now your official duty. You might be one of those guys who is more show than tell, and you might be one of those practical dweebs who only believe in expressing love every day, not just one day. Valentine’s Day is the perfect nightmare for you, buddy. It will force you to do what those advertisements on the TV are telling you. If you don’t, your loved one will force you for sure.
8. Another Way for Evil Couples to Make You Cry
You will see plenty of evil couples posing on Instagram and Facebook, making sure to tell the world about their relationship’s perfection. They will keep rubbing it in your face to tell you how miserable you are if you are single, or how much your relationship lacks if you cannot do a duck face with your girl. And guess what gave them the opportunity? Valentine’s Day!
9. Feeling Guilty About Having a Relationship
Yup! You read that ride. Sometimes, the aspect of singles feeling miserable takes a 180-degree turn and now it’s the turn of couples to feel guilty. Why? Suppose you got an amazing friend, who happens to be single, unlike you. You can bet they will act extra clingy during Valentine’s Day, and when you tell them you have plans, you will definitely feel like the worst guy ever!
10. Getting Stuck in Crowds at All Romantic Hubs
This is one of the greatest nightmares of people who want to experience a flawless Valentine’s Day. Why… you ask? Well… just take your significant other to any good restaurant. If it isn’t loaded with enough people already, or you won’t be begging the receptionist to make room, then it ain’t Valentine, buddy! All the romantic hubs turn into crowded messes. and the worst part? You can get stuck in them.
11. The Ultimate Reminder of Loneliness
We are back to taking sides of the single people. Valentine’s Day is the perfect reminder of how you have failed to find love till this point, and how lonely you are right now. When those evil couples are not posing their pics on Insta, the TV ads make you feel like crap. Another reason why Valentine’s Day is a conspiracy.
12. Too Much Red
Red is the devil’s color. Wake up, people! By celebrating Valentine’s Day, you are empowering the devil and selling your soul. Valentine’s Day normalizes the usage of red and too much red is purely the work of the Shaytaan!
13. Chocolates Can Cause Tooth Decay
Everything about this perfect holiday is messed up. This is a day that normalizes eating chocolates, and we know that eating too many chocolates can cause serious health hazards like decaying your teeth. But do they show it on the TV ads? No! It is because Valentine’s Day is no less than a conspiracy!
14. Those Evil Rishtas Aunties
This is when those witches, also called Rishta aunties, are doing the devil’s work at their peaks. Their magic is so strong that if you are trying to stay single and happy, they won’t let you. The first one to give in to their spells is your ami. And then your entire family. Suddenly that loser uncle notices that you are too happy and smiling, and you must endure what he endures on a daily basis in the form of a relationship. And voila! You got a rishta.
These reasons should convince you why Valentine’s Day is a big conspiracy. If you think these are the rants of an angry single, you are absolutely wrong. Valentine’s Day is a Yahoodi Saazish and you shouldn’t celebrate it at all.
Mehmaan Aur Wohi Dukhi Dastaan
